My New Dictionary

From time to time, Webster adds words into the dictionary. With our vocabulary constantly changing to accommodate our youth and the way we live, there is a need to add more and more words to the good ol’ dictionary.

But there are words and terms already in there, and have been there a long time, but never were relevant to me. That was until I turned 40something and looked into my address book finding more and more names that had “MD” next to them.

Memory Loss

Searching and searching where I put my glasses, and often finding them on my head.Only to find them, so that I can find where I misplaced my car keys to my car,that I forgot was getting repaired at the shop.

Memory Loss

Oh, I said that already!

Bifocals

When your Chinese food comes to the table and your fried tofu is a whole Peking fish because you ordered M-7 instead of M-4, but the 4 looked like a 7 to you.

Prostrate

Who would think that something the size of a golf ball could be so much trouble,and that golf ball sized organ can become the size of a tennis ball.

Urologist

I used to think going to the doctor to get a shot was uncomfortable,

but it is nothing to that latex finger!

Benign

It used to be what you said when you were younger and someone asked you how old you were going to be after you’re “8”.

PSA score

Isn’t that how well a golfer is doing during a national Golf Tournament?

Rogaine

These days, I do not need any help losing things. The last thing I need help with is my hair.

Laugh Lines

They used to be the part of a joke that made me laugh.

Now they make me cry!

Fiber

I used to look at a cereal box label to see what special toy was inside, now I look to see how many grams of fiber are in it.

Arthritis

Of all the things that could have been passed down to me from my family, couldn’t it have been a large inheritance or a trust fund!!

Cardiologist

I wish I liked to exercise. My doctor recently told me that running could add years to my life. The only thing I like running is my car in the cold weather while I waiting for it to warm up. Also been told I like to run my mouth!

Herniated Discs

Never paid much attention to them, until I found out that it was not something you brought your car into the mechanic to be replaced during a standard tune-up.

But getting older isn’t so bad, sure beats the alternative!!!!

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